A little bit about me...
Moment by moment I produce my identity. having autism is personal differentiation of my sensory motor system. operating in a unique quantum perspective, my particle processing is analogous to a superposition of sensory states. in autism defining reality is always a result of deriving meaning from asynchronous sensory stimuli. it is a jigsaw puzzle always left unfinished.
my decisions, my consequence generate from my complex neurology. in society my identity is derived from how I operate in relationship to others. ontological understanding is hard to come by. where does my body end and where does the environment begin? the sensory state generates somatic translation of the environment and attenuates the geophysics of autism. its an operation of the muscles of my body and the knowledge of intention in my mind. I see the wavelength of my existence and reality become one being. many personable mentions of autism exist in the media, however we do not examine the experiential data, the daily trial of living with sensory motor dysfunction, apraxia.
neurological consequences, variables of data processing, are manifest in the continuum of autism spectrum disorder. each person with autism is different.
my autism has mundane introverted tendencies, delineated by a self-accent of stims. as words can communicate, so too can actions. yes, behaviors can be determined responses of each person. but, an unlimited range of physical responses for a neurotypical become sufficient limited sensory responses in my autism. My OCDs are the traditions that assure potable affirmation of environmental cues. alternate neural pathways form in the interim between thought and action.
multitudes of nebulous dendrites accentuate regions of cortex not usually used. why is reason vanquished at significant obsession? ocd circumscribes the spaces of intellect arising in cellular language. amorphous circuitry has remembrance looped. behind all neurological communication is deliberate meaning and causal relationships abound between sensory perception, motor movement, and language development.
My communication is a holistic endeavor, encompassing thought, action, and cognition. each verbal limitation is, as a mechanism for sharing thought, noticeable during conversation when I am using my device or trying to verbalize.
There is also the probabilities of social interaction. asking a possibility to present itself is not easily determined. Initiation challenges include conversation in everyday settings, keeping calm in a meeting, and answering direct inquiries. the environmental chaos and the anxiety which ensues work together against the ordering of my reality.
dozens of earnest dilemmas are discovered when one learns of a change in schedule or experiences an illusion of perception. how are these dilemmas managed? only careful consistency in forming expectation can help ease difficult times. mental algorithms are beneficial only if they can accurately predict the future. They often fail me.
Where does that leave us?